Losing friends is hard...

I've had a few friends over the last 2 to 3 decades that I really tried to make the friendship work. 

Well, today I received a text at 2 in the morning, where my supposed bff told me that I should feel stupid, in response to me telling her that I did feel stupid over almost getting scammed the previous weekend. 

She said I should feel stupid and that I don't even deserve to be Licensed as a therapist. 

I was baffled at why she would say those things. 

I've always been there for her, helping give her a place over a decade ago because she was trying to leave her abusive husband until she went back and I didn't hear from her for another 5 or so years. 

I knew if she was ever ready to leave for good, I would be there. 

Well after taking verbal abuse from her over the last several months I had really had it when she said that I shouldn't have my license. 

I said to her after 3 years post bachelor's degree and 6 years / 3000 hours, a law and ethics exam and final lmft exam, I definitely earned it. 

And really, this showed me how much she was actually pretty jealous of me, which she could have anything she wanted if she would just work on her trauma

Which she refused. 

She told me awhile back the psychiatrist she was seeing diagnosed her with BPD[Borderline personality disorder].

It made sense as she was always lashing out at everyone, she would refuse to listen to warnings I would send her regarding guys she would date for a second, have intimate relationship with them and then once they left her, she would become suicidal. I would be there to try to help her pick up the pieces. 

I'm sure she has a lot of learning left to do in this life. I don't want her to suffer but I'm not going to be a verbal beating bag as well. 

I wish her well and pray she finds peace. 

It just doesn't feel great.

I've had this pattern of really gnarly friendships which I give way too much, I end up being used, and it goes really badly very quickly. 

I have since then been a lot more careful but at the same time, I've always given the benefit of the doubt, but I think the behaviors others show you says more than what you want to believe about them. 

Touche